Reader, I married her. And while it’s true that our wedding (Kew Gardens, 100 or so guests, including my cousins from New Zealand and a barrister with a reasonable following on social media) was not quite as grand as that of the Duke of Westminster (Chester Cathedral, 400 guests, including the Prince of Wales) or of Anant Ambani (multiple venues, 2,000 guests, including Tony Blair and Kim Kardashian) it did offer an insight into this symbolic rite – and the role it plays in the lives of the world’s wealthiest families.
But the first thing I need to talk to you about is the cost. I had thought that my grasp of spreadsheets and data, honed by years of marshalling the rankings of the Spear’s 500, would stand me in good stead for the relatively simple mathematics of a wedding budget. This was desperately naive. Weddings have many special properties; one of them, I discovered, is the power to make cold, hard cash disappear into thin air quickly enough to give even the most lapsed Catholic renewed faith in the concept of transubstantiation.
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So it was comforting to note that the Duke of Westminster (net worth: £10 billion or so) also seemed to be conscious of how easily a wedding budget can get away from you. After the ceremony in Chester Cathedral, he and his new wife Olivia Henson, now the Duchess of Westminster, staged the reception at Eaton Hall. The mock French chateau set in 10,872 acres of Cheshire was no doubt a wonderful place for the celebration but had the added attraction of being a money-saver. It is, after all, the Duke’s own home.
The Ambanis, conversely, took a rather different approach. All told, they are thought to have spent around $600 million. Where did it all go? Well, there was a warm-up event for 1,000 people in the Gujarati city of Jamnagar at the beginning of March, which included performances by Rihanna and Akon. In May, Anant Ambani and his wife-to-be Radhika Merchant hosted a four-day cruise that stopped off at Rome, Cannes and Portofino, incorporating performances from the Backstreet Boys, Katy Perry and Pitbull along the way. The sangeet ceremony took place on 5 July, with the added bonus of a performance by Justin Bieber. On 8 July there was a traditional haldi ceremony. Then, finally, it was time for the wedding proper: a three-day affair in Mumbai, to which the Kardashian family brought their own film crew.
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All of it costs money, of course. However, wedding and party planner par excellence Peregrine Armstrong-Jones tells me, it’s the entertainment that really makes things rack up. ‘There’s only one of each pop star; their managers are aware of the rarity value,’ he says. How much, Armstrong-Jones is too discreet to even guess – perhaps part of the reason that his company, Bentley’s Entertainments, has been trusted to organise the nuptials of Zara and Mike Tindall, Autumn and Peter Phillips and, famously, David and Victoria Beckham. But it has been rumoured that Justin Bieber’s fee was $10 million.
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Vast though the final bill must have been, it will have barely left a dent in the finances of the Ambani family. Anant’s father Mukesh is reckoned to be the richest man in Asia, with a net worth of more than $120 billion. Indeed, he may now be reflecting on what an excellent investment it was. Forging and reinforcing ties with the global elite has doubtless already had positive consequences for the sprawling Ambani empire, provided the family with social cachet, and introduced the world to the next generation.
‘In many ways, weddings have long served as a platform for reinforcing personal and family networks, particularly in elite circles where social and business interests often intertwine,’ notes leading event planner Julia Dowling, the founder of Snapdragon. ‘However, what we see today is a more intentional approach, where the wedding itself becomes a multi-day, multi-faceted event that can simultaneously meet social, familial, and more so business objectives.’
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But taking this enterprising stance to what many would consider a personal affair is not without risk. ‘For couples choosing this path, it’s important to strike a careful balance,’ warns Dowling. ‘Thoughtful planning around how different elements of the celebration cater to various groups is essential to avoid losing the intimacy of the occasion amidst the larger-scale objectives.’
There are pitfalls at every turn, as Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz found when their nuptials made headlines for some of the wrong reasons. It was widely reported that Kate Middleton and Prince William declined an invitation, and details of a rather hopeful, scattergun approach to A-list guests were revealed after the bride’s father pursued legal action against the couple’s wedding planners.
‘Whatever the budget, weddings are inevitably ego-fests,’ says William Hanson, etiquette coach and author of Just Good Manners. ‘By definition, the couple getting married and the family around them are on display and show the world who they are and where they are going. For high-profile, high-net-worth weddings, where the principal players have aspirations of social or professional advancement, this often means the guest list is made up of tycoons, celebrities and those with ‘influence’, promoted to key seats, often at the detriment of relatives and friends.’
Hanson points to the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle for reference, where guests such as Oprah Winfrey and the Clooneys were invited. ‘While it may have added some Hollywood pizzazz to a usually British event, George and Amal did later wonder why they had been invited in the first place as they were hardly close friends. Social climbing couples should remember that while you may be thrilled to have the great and the good at your wedding, those great and good may see right through your attempts.’
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While the Ambani spectacular has been seen as a wedding watershed by many, Peregrine Armstrong-Jones is not so sure. Major Indian families – whether maharajas or industrialists – have treated the occasion this way for hundreds of years. It’s the rest of the world that’s catching up.
‘Gone are the days when the leading families of the UK used to have a white canvas marquee on the lawn and beef Wellington was served with claret from the cellar,’ says Armstrong-Jones. ‘Now those very families put on world-class showstoppers. And they are not limited to the UK.’
The real challenge today, he adds, is to be different. ‘Once someone’s had fireworks set to music, or done a drone show, or had, you know, cascades of galloping horses, then it’s difficult for the next person who wants a world-class wedding not to be seen as copying.’
To find inspiration and stay up to date, Armstrong Jones advocates keeping an eye on the fashion shows and what’s going on in Las Vegas.
For my own wedding, this was not really an option. But if we did succeed in preventing our guests from thinking they had seen this show before, then it is likely because our day was interspersed with elements that were uniquely ‘us’ – from having my wife’s brother Mark as our (utterly superb) celebrant, to serving wine that came from our friends at the local vintner and, perhaps even the budget. It was distinctive in its modesty – compared to the Ambanis’, at least.
This feature first appeared in Spear’s Magazine Issue 93. Click here to subscribe.
