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  1. Wealth
April 14, 2009

Scandal? Learn from the masters!

By Spear's

Berlusconi has had several facelifts, tries to jump on anything nubile within gropeable distance and then writes letters of apology to his wife in his newspapers

What a pleasure watching Barcelona annihilate Bayern Munich the other night. And not just because the Germans lost, that is an all too simplistic Brit view, but because of the style, the flair and the elegance with which Barcelona played.

Oh, and because I was able to call my Indio-German friend Arun and take the mickey, big time. He was quick to remind me, however, that as a part Italian, I didn’t have much to be proud of, footballistically speaking at least, with no team left in the running. Not my beloved Inter Milan or even the hated Berlusconi Babes of AC Milan.

That really ruined my evening. That and the displeasure of seeing that bumbling idiot we (even part-) Italians have to call our Prime Minister appear on TV at the site of one of the worst disaster to hit his country recently (other than himself) wearing some idiotic fireman’s helmet and declare that the families whose home and lives have been destroyed by the earthquake and are cramming up five to a bed in makeshift tents should regard this as a nice fun camping weekend.

How? How can it be this guy is the head of our country? What does it say about our country?

He wears make up, dyes his hair, in an increasingly unnatural colour. It may even look as if part of the remaining hair is painted on or sprayed on. Is that possible? He has had several facelifts, tries to jump on anything nubile that is within gropeable distance and then writes letters of apology to his wife in the newspapers he owns.

He got those ministerial habits being a crooner on liners and then honed the Hollywood couch routine whilst running his private TV empire. Now he also runs the State controlled RAI, so the couch routine is in full, now political, flow.

There was a recent transcript of a call between him and one of the top guys at RAI where he asked him to give a job to a couple of cuties whom he called his little angels. Does that make a political scandal? No, in Italy it makes him a hero.

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Wearing bandanas for a prime minister is ‘cool’ in Italy didn’t you know? Every other guy aspires to be him and so votes for him, not that there is any more credible alternative. And they certainly are not going to get any airtime, are they?

So that’s how. That’s why he can make a fool of himself whilst visiting the Queen, keep half the world leaders waiting for him to finish a call on his mobile, supposedly with his Turkish counterpart, more likely with an aspiring Turkish starlet, or apologising yet again to the wife. That’s why he can do all that and still be in power.

You Brits think you’ve got problems with political spin and cronyism in this country? MPs charging porn movies on expenses? Let me tell you, compared to us Italians, you don’t even know how to spell spin, cronyism and expenses, let alone porn! Why pay for porn when you can vote it into Parliament instead as we famously did with La Cicciolina? Now go beat that!

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