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April 23, 2009

And the Worst Award goes to…

By Spear's

I want to hereby ask Spear’s to introduce The Worst Awards, as well as a Bottom Ten in the various surveys and reports they run.

I want to hereby ask Spear’s to introduce The Worst Awards, as well as a Bottom Ten in the various surveys and reports they run. I think readers want to know who to avoid as much if not more than who to go to.

I mean, if you get to use someone good, it is then down to personal preference and no-one can choose that for you. On the other hand, if someone or some company is crap, then it will be for everyone, so you should be warned to avoid them.

I can already hear the powers that be moaning that it is too negative an approach, that readers may be put off and more to the point, one may lose advertisers for the magazine or find it difficult to entice sponsors for the Awards.

So as a fallback, I thought I should run my own The Worst and occasionally Bottom Five lists on this blog instead and I want to hereby bestow my first ‘winning’ entry.

Without a shadow of a doubt, based on extensive personal and external research, ‘The Worst Airline Award’ goes to Ryanair. The Irish have until recently managed to scrape by in the world, looked upon as friendly and harmless types, happy to spend all that money the idiots in Brussels would send them and now they are making up for lost time.

No more mister nice guy as they unleash a potential life-threatening crisis onto the Euro (that’s actually good news I think) and Ryanair is finally showing its true colours:

> Real Name: CONAIR.

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> Nature of Business: exploit helpless people called passengers.

> Plan of Action: hire the most unpleasant, ugly, dumb and cheap people that can be found, with the most basic grasp of English, ideally with Eastern European cattle-herding or gulag camp management experience to staff airport desks and aircraft.

> Modus Operandi: create and then continuously change rules, print them in the smallest possible font in the remotest corner of a website that crashes regularly to defraud passengers of money in any perceivable way after being allowed to advertise completely false low fares.

> Signature Trait: target seemingly well-to-do families for extra punishment, including public humiliation wherever possible.

Until the next Award…

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