Oh!-bama - Spear's Magazine


Condoms not just with Obama’s face on them, but Sarah Palin, John McCain and (inevitably) Tiger Woods.

They call it practicing safe policy. (That’ll be the day.) The rest of us call it safe something else.

As I meandered my way out of Central Park winding through the panoply street vendors and portrait sketchers, one woman caught my eye: she had a giant banner attached to her back that advertised Obama Condoms.

And there they were indeed, in the box she was holding in her hands: little packets of condoms not just with President Barack Obama’s face on them, but an assortment that included Sarah Palin, John McCain and (inevitably) Tiger Woods. 

This last one had the slogan: “Protect your Wood.” It said nothing about what it would do for one’s reputation or endorsements.

“I only have a few of those,” said the charming sales girl as she held up the Tiger Woods packet. “They’re a limited edition, you see.” 

I guess the joke on politicians has a longer running time than on sports stars.

“What are the President Obama condoms like?” I asked.

“They’re based on the black tuxedo condoms,” she explained.

They’re quite popular, apparently. “We’re all over the city, especially the parts of town that are popular with tourists: Central Park, Times Square. We’re very popular for bachelorette parties.”

I explained that I was just out walking my dog.

“That’s ok,” she answered. “You can just go to our website: http://www.obamacondoms.com.”

On it they recommend their product “for hard times,” saying that this way you can “remember the election with your next erection.” Of course I’m not at all sure about the wisdom of getting political while gettin’ jiggy, but I suspect thousands of people are already finding out.