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  1. Wealth
October 23, 2012

Pippa Middleton's New Book 'Celebrate' Offers Party Tips for Idiots

By Spear's

‘The hot drinks can be poured from flasks into mugs and paper cups’ Pippa Middleton writes at one point in case anyone was puzzling over the logistics.

‘It’s a bit startling to achieve global recognition (if that’s the right word) before the age of thirty, on account of your sister, your brother-in-law and your bottom,’ writes Pippa Middleton in her new book ‘Celebrate’, serialised in the Mail on Sunday this weekend. She was paid a £400,000 advance for the book — so in this sense her bottom has opened doors for her.

And because she describes the book as her ‘first chance’ to ‘paint a picture of myself’ it also opens a window into the Middleton household. At Halloween Pippa and Kate used to ‘turn off all the lights’ and feast on ‘creepy edible morsels’! They ate chocolate cake together in the Lake District! At school, Pippa and her friends lit sparklers together and ‘devoured’ tomato soup ‘garnished’ with Cheddar cheese! There’s a distinct Enid Blyton theme to the language and imagery.
  
See party photos here
 
Unfortunately perhaps for Kate, the image conjured up of the Middleton’s upbringing is far more Littlewoods than sprawling country estate. Her recommendations that party-organisers cover root vegetables in PVC glue and glitter and toad-in-the-hole with gory ketchup for Halloween may be thoughtfully designed to fit any budget — but  the real challenge would have been to come up with party ideas that are low-cost without appearing so.


Pippa Middleton ‘Celebrates’

The party tips are also helpfully composed to suit even the most inexperienced, incompetent and unimaginative of readers. ‘The hot drinks can be poured from flasks into mugs and paper cups’ she writes at one point — in case anyone was puzzling over the logistics. There’s also a helpful description of how to play conkers, and advice that ‘hot drinks will warm freezing hands’ and stuffed red peppers should be ‘served with forks.’

But if you can find little to admire in the style on content of the book, you can admire Pippa Middleton for negotiating a £400,000 advance for it. A bum deal it was not.
 
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