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March 10, 2014updated 11 Jan 2016 1:21pm

Nick Clegg needs to go back to school

By Spear's

Nick Clegg’s speech to the Lib Dem Spring Conference was a masterpiece in advertising the importance of English history for a rounded education: he hasn’t got it and doesn’t know it. He should be sent to see Mr Gove of the Coalition Academy who understands the importance of these basics, for extra tuition, before he makes a complete idiot of himself.

Nick Clegg the Great Internationalist suffers from a well-known form of dementedness: he thinks he can change the world for the better just by talking. The fact that nobody knows who he is doesn’t seem to have occurred to him. So, he actually thinks he has to be a member of a democratically-deprived, bureaucratically-driven, bankrupt bunch of no-hopers called the EU, so that his ‘voice can be heard’.

What he doesn’t realise is that everything he says is drowned out by the fact that under EU QMV there are 27 others voting the other way. Poor old Cleggie, off again to Mr Gove to do extra maths so that he can add the odds up properly.

Clegg’s day of reckoning on 22 May, the day of the European elections, fast approaches, when his irrelevant Lib Dems will be kicked up the backside by the boys who have done their homework, understand history, can add up and know that trade with Europe is nothing to do with being in the EU: it’s all about a Brit who wants a Merc and a German who wants a Range Rover reaching for their cheque books, under WTO Customs Union rules of origin. Back to business studies for Clegg.

If only Clegg had attended better to his lessons, he would have learnt from England’s long history that our voice and example in Europe are far more potent when we stand outside Europe.

Mercifully, Clegg is going to be put out of his misery in the near future, and spare him and all of us any more of his nonsense, when he enters into a special version of University Challenge: he foolhardily challenged Nigel Farage, once upon a time a Shadowy Minister for Aviation, but now Professor of the Decline and Fall of the EU.

Clegg will be destroyed by Farage in the first-ever live execution on BBC One, at 7 pm on Wednesday 2 April. Should be worth the Licence Fee, at least.

Read more by Stephen Hill

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